God... I'm growing! :]

Mmm.. Imagine that your whole life is a huge house and there're hundreds of rooms with unexplored treasures and mysteries inside that were hidden inside subconsciously. I know that i'm on a whole new level spiritually, but when in the valley, it doesn't feel like that. Just that there's something different, I still have the joy of God in the midst of whatever crisis i'm going through ;] That's awesome.. I feel like God has just opened another door in my 'house' and it's springcleaning day! Lol.. cleaning up the mess and sorting out the junk that has accumulated.
It's another level of dealing with the same old, same old. Haha..It's awesome though.. things keep popping up to remind me of His love for me and He keeps reminding me everytime that He's there, He's with me, everything's going to be OK! :]

Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I AM YOUR GOD (so true! :]). I will give you strength, yes, i will help you, i will uphold you with My righteous right hand. - Isaiah (something.. haha.. oops..just caught a glimpse of this verse from the back of a flyer)

I want to grow in love and passion for God! :] Even though i know i love Him, or people for that matter.. sometimes i can't feel the emotions. And it is then that i know i've come as far as i can and that it's time for another breakthrough.. have to be healed from emotional shutdown man.. haha.. it's really quite frustrating, like watching everyone crying at a funeral and wanting badly to cry too, but somehow not feeling anything.. and then you'll start wondering, what's wrong with me? But looking back and remembering what God has done for me, i know that i've grown in my capacity to love. Come on.. i mean i used to get so angry at people who just stared at me.. lol :] ok, maybe that was just insecurity.. but i know there's a reason why people look at me now and find it hard to believe that i used to bully people and fight with boys in church.. hahaha :] I've forgiven myself for that and i'm glad that i can look back and laugh now ;]