Reflections

Yay, went to East Coast last night to eat with my family. Ate sting ray, sotong, satay, popiah, carrot cake before heading to Parkway for Swensen's ice cream!! :] Have been craving Swensen ice cream for a long long time (last time i ate it was in primary school!) It was nice, just praying for a breakthrough in communication in the family.
Anyway, lately i've been going through some self-examination after a friend got angry at me for forgetting her birthday. Dug up a box of old letters and notes that were passed during class and stuff (i have 5 shoeboxes of them!) and as i read through them, i was filled with chagrin at how unappreciative and unfeeling i am as a person - albeit there were letters that made me amused and shamed at myself :P As if in a lucid moment, i suddenly realised how badly i treat my friends. My best friend in primary school sent me at least 20 letters, of which i only replied three times :( and it's surprising to me now how come i didn't feel that it was wrong not to.
Even though i know that i'm not a very sociable person, i guess i expected everyone else to either know that or felt that it was normal. But i didn't know that i would hurt other people's feelings. Like how i can forget someone's birthday and not think that it's such a big deal that it's worth getting angry about. Hmm... i guess for me, i like spending alot of time alone and it takes longer for me to feel that i need or want social interaction with others. For me, reading in the afternoons with a cup of milo or hot choc; or just sitting in the park and observing people is my ideal way of passing time :] But was talking to Shiyun during lunch today, and we both agreed that relationships really take alot of effort to maintain and even improve.. Of course i could choose to continue being like that but it's only during the valleys when you'll realise that there's nobody to call (of course i have Joanne :] ). Nevertheless, i want to change and start contributing to my friends, and not just wait for them to come to me all the time.. Be patient with me k? Lol..anyway, i really felt that what Jocelin said after service in the foyer when celebrating our birthdays was really a word in season for me. I was mulling over this when she said that even though Joanne and i were naturally reserved people and not very sociable, but that she saw we made an effort. And it was as if God sent her to encourage me :] that even though i'm not there yet, but at least i'm not where i used to be! :] Thanks for great people like Joanne, Jocelin, Michelle and Sheila around me who just by living out their lives and exercising their faith, encourage me and give me strength to continue walking with God for so long. Like Mic said, even though she's dry, she still chooses to praise God with all her strength :] Faith is in spite of! Brother Bobby also shared once that the more tired he feels spiritually, physically or emotionally, he more he'll jump and praise God during service :] No wonder he always looks like he's in spiritual warfare during praise and worship! :] I'm honoured to be placed in the company of such giants!