Walking & Wondering

Been thinking alot abt what the life really is about, especially my Christian walk. It's difficult realising that life on earth will have its disappointments and hurts because there's always this inherent hope that you'll lead a life that's without much downs. You somehow come to expect the downs to come once in a few years, like say an illness, the death of a family member, failing a major exam etc. But you're rarely prepared for the small things everyday, like relationship problems, getting hurt by someone's callous remark etc.
Was talking to Joanne the other day, and she raised an issue that was really poignant. How come no matter how many people fall away from God, we never seem to get over it or even seem to accept it more easily since it happens often? And i remembered my response - that like trained soldiers on the battlefield, having the knowledge that people will die on the battlefield is different from being in it and seeing your fellow comrades fall. I don't think one can ever be hardened to this, because inadvertantly, we are all connected by soul ties, having come under God's wing together and struggling together with our flesh. It always hurts when that soul tie is cut off, because these soul ties also sustain you during the dryest moments in your walk with God.
I don't want to be cut off from this world by my walk with Him, i want to be immersed in the culture of this world too. Just that for so long i've denied myself of it and repressed that part that i don't really know how to. But just as i was kinda despairing today, God assured me that He would be beside me to guide me and help me even as i come to know Him more, i'll start to know His heart and have the same burden and love for the world as He does. :]