Running..

Mm... is this a period of dryness? I remember what Pst YK preached once during cg, about how walking with God is like a marathon. It starts out with thousands of people at the front line, but as you run further and further, the crowd thins out. I really didn't like that analogy, even though i knew it was kinda true. But i fear the fact that people whom i will grow to love, will leave. I was talking to Sheila the other day, and i really grew jealous of her ability to remain in contact with people who have left. And she said it was because we had different ideas of friendships, which i profess to be true. But i'm still learning, i can only identify the problem but i don't know where to go from there.
Seems like everyone i know is feeling dry or tired out. For me myself, i can only say that i'm extremely dissatisfied. I'm at the verge of a breakthrough but right now, it doesn't feel like it's a victorious walk. But i do realise that throughout my whole life, i'm going to keep on changing, and keep on growing, keep on struggling, keep on breaking through.. it's only the hope of arriving that sometimes causes me to be discouraged. Like running 3.2km, and thinking in your mind that the finish line is right around the corner, but when you turn, there's a whole long road more and no finish line in sight. Then you realise you've misjudged the length of the road or forgotten how long the race is.
And i'll always remember a scene in the Lord of the Rings, when Sam and Frodo are alone together, trekking towards Mordor. And they were saying how their names will be sung in tales and they'll never be forgotten as heroes. But the weariness and depression didn't make this adventure as exciting as we always imagined adventures to be. Any adventure worth having, it's clear now, is always filled with fear, exhaustion, courage and hope. That's why we need to lift up our eyes to see the end, and know what's the reason why we're going through what we're going through.