Last service of the year...

Making a decision is casting judgment on something, not weighing your choices still.

There are so many things i know in my head, but i found myself saying: "Ok God, i'll make a decision to..." Then i find myself not knowing what it is i need to do. All i know is that i need to seek Him and stay in the fellowship.

Yet it's really in the midst of all the circumstances, that i really thank God for pointing out to me things and people i can be thankful for. And i think i need to keep counting and counting my blessings everyday in order for my face to be like flint, focused on God.

It's in the simple things like being able to come home and have an afternoon nap with my parents and sister. It's a blessing, i know now, to be able to have a home or people whom you can really be yourself with. Who will accept you no matter how grumpy or lazy or irritating you are, but at the end of the day, are still happy to cook a meal that you'll enjoy. I'm often amazed by my parent's love nowadays. Especially on saturday at my grandpa's house, my mom defended my church against my aunt. All those questions that were directed at me and just made me very tired and angry (because i was under the impression that i came to my grandpa's house to rest) were once questions that came out from my mom's mouth. I may not have been able to adequately answer her, but it seems that over the years, she has now looked with pride upon CHC, and watching her defend my church (which isn't her church btw) so well just when i was too exasperated to say anything further really really made my day.

Later that night, my mom and i walked home as my dad (with joanne - the sick gal - sitting behind him) cycled back. And the feeling of being blessed, having something precious and totally not deserved, really overwhelmed me. That's why i don't want to be bitter, and i know i need to and i want to be a more joyful person. There's actually alot of good in this world to live for.

Just wanna say thanks Joanne, Aileen, Sheila, Jingxuan, Bernice, Junwen... this year was much better than 2006 in terms of growth, and of course in quantity of whatever else we need to go through to become better people. But beyond just serving and doing what is right, you guys, just by being there in my life, and being so willing to love my unlovable side, encouraged me to put love into my giving and to be patient in my waiting. And of course for gently turning me in the right direction whenever i felt like turning back. For all those swimming trips, stayovers, late night talks, or emails, massages, and hugs.

And of course, thank You God! You're really the reason why i'm still here, i'm really standing by Your grace! Thank You for being there 24/7, for your presence, strength, assurance, love and faithfulness throughout whatever emotional ups and downs i went through this year. Thanks for being my counselor and dealing with me lovingly. 2008 will be great because You'll be by my side :]