To my parents

I realise how important books are in my life. I've grasped important moral issues and gained understanding and empathy for people through various characters. The sobering truth in every book (even chicklit) is like a slap to wake me up from any complacency I always find myself in in any area of my life. And the more I read and get impacted by books seemingly shallow like chicklit to Harry Potter and JRR Tolkien to more serious literature people study in school; the more I learn to appreciate the amount of wisdom gathered in these pages. Each book is an accumulation of a person's insights, knowledge, wisdom and experiences.

Of course, the book that has slapped me awake today is Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows. Admittedly, it was due to my perception that this book is written for children that probably made me treat it with alot less respect than other books. And when I decided to re-read it again yesterday, it was mostly to escape from studying statistics for awhile.. ending up spending hours reading the whole thing. I was touched by all the emotions, relationships and issues raised in the book: anger at the lack of knowledge and helplessness, bitterness, grief, love and hope; the consequences of disregarding others who are lower than you in terms of status or even species and race, the fallibility of man in the struggle for power, courage to press on in spite of fear, and faith to trust in someone and continue doing what you're doing with the belief that it's right.

Coupled with something that happened with my father afterwards, I realise that in our youthful pride and arrogance, we seldom manage to see the greatness of our parents. Just like how death seems to have the effect of casting everything into bronze and turning people into historical figures where suddenly facts and accomplishments are thrown into light; and we realise that we've been beside people who were ordinary but stepped out above their comfort zone to become great.

I remember a few days ago, I was studying and my dad was watching a documentary on Discovery Channel about typhoons. He suddenly started recalling tales of how in his younger days in the navy, he was chased by a typhoon out at sea. As the bow of the boat was covered by waves and was rolling from side to side at a 45 degree angle, he told me and Jo how he had to climb down to the deck and singlehandedly cramp shut two metal doors to a hangar whose mechanism had been jammed by the pounding waves to prevent water from flooding in. And he recalled another tale of how he was in America to help sail back a warship that Singapore had bought from them. It had a wooden hull because it was a ship from the vietnam war, and they had to sail back through storms. And he was thinking back how fortunate he was that God has preserved his life on so many occasions when he lay in that bunk beside the wooden wall of the hull, every muscle tensed as he listened to the wood creaking, praying that the wood would hold and not cave in.

And of course being irritable at being interrupted whilst reading, I just nodded impatiently through his reminiscing. Now on thinking back do I see how small I really am and I can't help but feel a sadness for the way I've mistreated my parents all these years and how long it took for me to see it. And I also wonder if my heart is big enough to learn and remember this, or will this knowledge just laden me with guilt for not doing what I'm not able to do. Yet, not by my might but by Your grace. I shall do the best I can.

To my parents, even though you won't be able to read this: Thank you both for loving me so much. It might not be as great as God's unconditional love, but it's a close second. Thank you both for always getting up early in the morning, sincerely motivated by whether I eat a good breakfast or not. Thank you both for pushing me to step out of my comfort zone with regards to my pride, laziness and ill discipline. Thank you both for accepting me for who I am, challenging me to change where i'm not adequate, and still being there to love me no matter what.

(On a side note, I think during cramming sessions I should take the time I spend escaping into a book into consideration as a form of stress relief -.-)