ARISE

Service was awesome today :] I feel like this is just a new beginning and lots of things are going to happen. I just don't know what, even though i have my long long list of wishes that i've racked up after Pst's sermon on visualizing. Haha.. It's a good habit to just take 15 min during my quiet time to visualize things coming to past and writing it down :] I feel like they're so much closer to grasp now, like it's actually possible to achieve!

Was talking to Joanne, Aileen and Jingxuan, and we all agreed that there's something really different about this year's Arise & Build ;] Last year, i remember crying so much when i dropped the pledge card into the bucket, and felt like chasing the usher after the service to get it back and change the amount. Hahaha.. But this year, there's a determination to trust in God and have faith.

I feel really blessed and glad in my heart when i look back and realise that i've grown and changed quite alot this year. And it wasn't really an uphill climb. I just remember one day after a series of cellgroup and service sermons when i just made a decision. If i want to be in God's house, to be a child of God, to just be in it for the long run; burn the bridges, no looking back and just going onward. Even though now, i still have moments of struggle when i feel insecure like maybe talking to new friends, or people i'm not familiar with, or even people i'm familiar with, (lol) but i've finally made it a habit and rewired my brain to just let these thoughts bounce out of my head instead of entertaining them.

It's not denial but accepting the fact that yes, i am not yet secure but i want to be and i will start being who i've always wanted to be instead of limiting myself. So, pat on the back Jeannette, you're doing a good job :]

This week was a good week, because even though it didn't really start off well (overslept on the first day of school.. haha >.<) but i made a decision and continued trying to rely on God throughout the week :] So yeah.. it was good. I feel that the next level is so close! But meanwhile, i'm continuing to grow everyday. And even though circumstances are still pretty much the same, the same old quarrels and stuff, but i can really say that i feel joy because i really know for sure in my heart, not just in my head, that God is with me! That He made a commitment to me too, that really makes everything so ok!

Anyway, on financial avenues, i'm praying really hard about tuition jobs! :] Might have a chance to tutor 4 kids in a group (AHH!! This is such a crazy and totally awesome opportunity because i get to earn loads a month!) and just make a difference in their lives :] Muahaha.. i want more sheep but before that, i need to enlarge my capacity to contain those sheep! But i've claimed them everyday already, so i believe, think, visualize and confess that they are God's! :D